


Sense of Longing

by CSDeckerx



Series: Deckerstar Prompts [3]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Mischief, Misletoe, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-18 19:32:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13107024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CSDeckerx/pseuds/CSDeckerx
Summary: Lucifer spends Christmas with Chloe and the rest of the gang, everything finally known between the both of them. Except the case of their feelings for one another is still somewhat unresolved. Will Lucifer finally get over his fears and take a leap with her? That is if Chloe still wants him...





	Sense of Longing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PixelByPixel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixelByPixel/gifts).



> Merry Christmas Everyone! So as part of the Deckerstar Network Christmas Exchange, i was charged with gifting something to the lovely and wonderful @PixelByPixel ! SURPRISE :P  
> So i used your interpretation of I Will Hold On about longing and waiting and went with it and here is a fic :)  
> I hope it meets your satisfaction and is what you wanted  
> *Sweats Nervously*  
> Writing as a gift is so challenging and stressful but i enjoyed it and i hope you do to <3

He can’t believe he was talked into this, standing in the middle of Chloe and Mazikeen’s apartment on the 25th of December. It was the Detective and her devious little urchin who had roped him into it…

 

_“So what are your plans for Christmas?” Chloe had asked him nonchalantly a few days before. They were in her apartment, getting ready to drop Trixie of at school and then head to work._

_“Same as any other day really, I’ll be at Lux. I’m not one to join in the celebrations of my step bros birthday.” He explains around a mouthful of toast, finishing with a shrug._

_“Well I was thinking of having everyone over and I’d really like it if you would come. You shouldn’t be on your own at Christmas.” She tells him._

_“Christmas isn’t really my thing Detective, it’s all hymns and praise about being thankful to my Dad, and as you know, that is something I’m not.” He grimaces._

_Trixie walks up to them at the breakfast bar, and turns to face him with a pleading look on her small features._

_“It’s not all about that; it’s about spending time with family, so you have to come Lucifer please!” She begs, hugging his waist and he is too shocked to even move himself away from her embrace. They class him as family?_

_He glances over at Chloe and it’s like she knows what he’s thinking and the gentle smile he receives from her is confirmation. He gulps before extracting the child from him and agrees to attend. It had put such joyous expressions on both their faces that he couldn’t regret it._

 

That was until now. He was stuck playing an abysmal game of charades and he had been paired with the worst partner.

“Oh! Little house on the prairie!” Amenadiel proclaims with a snap of his fingers.

“Little hou- You can’t be bloody serious?” He says exasperatedly as the clock rang out, ending their turn.  “It was clearly Titanic. Boat hits iceberg, boat goes down” he explains going through his hand gestures, “how could you possibly interpret that as little house on the prairie!”

“They made a film or TV series about the Titanic?” Amenadiel questioned, causing a few giggles around the room and the fact he was serious was embarrassing. Lucifer scoffs, moving away and flopping down on the seat next to the Detective who was poorly concealing her laugh.

“Yes laugh it up; honestly sometimes I can’t believe we are related.” He grumbles to her, pouting slightly. He is distracted when she moves to respond, her leg brushes up against his own, making him hyperaware of how close she was to him and he secretly revelled in it.

“I’m guessing they don’t exactly have cinemas up there do they?” She supplies with a cheeky smirk and he chuckles and shakes his head. She pats his knee as she stands to move in the middle for her round of this awful game with Miss Lopez as her partner.

 

He is too distracted to pay attention, still finding it unreal how easy she can joke about divinity and such. She had finally learnt the truth awhile back and it had gone…well… it was a tense time for everyone involved if he were being honest, which he always was. She had come around eventually though and they had talked. Talked through everything; His times in heaven and hell, his decision to come to earth, his vulnerability around her, his sacrifices for her and also how she was a miracle and why he did what he did. He had received a slap for that and an angry rant about how he was wrong.

His belief about her feelings being controlled were already wavering before this though, as he had witnessed her becoming quite smitten with Marcus Pierce.  It had caused some conflicting emotions to rise within him. Jealously for one, but also relief that she did have her own free will and control over herself but with that came heartbreak in that he had thrown away something special.

Her connection with Marcus ended quite shortly after their talk; once they found out he was using her as leverage in case Lucifer didn’t help him. Lucifer had been furious but Chloe more so, and she did not hold back. He knew it hurt her though and once the whole Cain problem had been dealt with he had took her in his arms and just held her as she cried and he vowed to himself that he would hold her until the pain was gone.

After that things between them were mostly back to normal, easier even as there were no more misunderstandings and secrets between them. Except, it wasn’t completely right, for they were at a stalemate of sorts, for she knew that he really does care for her and he knows her choices are her own but neither approached the subject. He found he couldn’t address it because he still held a spark of fear that his Dad was still involved in some way and he can’t help it, everything in his life had been controlled. Yet he ached for her, he ached for the feel of her soft lips on his, longed to hold her tight and never let go, so nothing could ever hurt her again.

There were moments were his longing was put into actions. It was the lingering of a hand on her back or the lengthened touch of fingers when handing her favourite coffee over.  He can’t help himself; just those extra few milliseconds give him a semblance of peace, though he doesn’t let himself indulge in anything more than that and always ceases contact. Every time she would look deeply into his eyes with her own, searching for something but she never seems to find what she’s looking for. She always gives him a sad smile with disappointment but understanding shining through before it’s gone and they act like nothing happened.

He is brought out of his thoughts when Chloe announces that she is going to check on the potatoes and passes him on her way to the kitchen. In the corner of his eye, Maze and the child seem to be discussing something in whispers but he pays them no mind, instead choosing to brood. It is a few minutes later that his favourite demon comes over towards him and leans against the arm chair.

 

“What’s with the face?” She asks, sipping on her mulled wine while staring at him questioningly. He gives a half-hearted shrug in return. His gaze falls on the child dragging the Detective to see something in the bathroom, but failing to notice the thumbs up Trixie gives to Maze.  

“Are you actually enjoying this?” Lucifer asks sceptically to the demon besides him. Mazikeen, like him wasn’t much for celebrating this holiday, well not in this particular sense, it’s normally parties and sex with strangers but this year here they both where doing it the traditionally human way.

“Watching your brother be a complete idiot in front of everyone and tonnes of booze? What’s not to like?” She smirks and nudges his shoulder “Come on admit it, you’re enjoying yourself more than you thought you would.”

“I suppose it’s not terrible.” He offers with a mock sigh. Maze moves to punch his shoulder but somehow loses her balance and spills her drink all over his grey jacket.

“Bloody hell Maze, this is the new season Burberry!” He exclaims trying to wipe it off with his handkerchief but to no avail.

“Sorry.” She said blandly, though it was obvious she was not remorseful at all.

“You really don’t have a soul do you?” He glares to which she rolls her eyes and grabs his arm lifting him from the seat.

“Come on, we can try wash it off.” She says pushing him in front of her and leading them to the bathroom. His head is turned to her, about to tell her it would be impossible to get this stain out with water when he is disturbed by a warm body slamming into his own as he reaches the doorway. He quickly reaches out to hold onto their arm to steady and comes face to face with a startled Chloe.

“Apologies, Detective.” He says sincerely. She smiles in acceptance before she is drawn to the stain on his suit jacket.

“What hap-“She begins before the little parasite interrupts with a squeal.

“Mommy, Lucifer look! Mistletoe! That means you have to kiss, it’s the rules!” She giggles while pointing above their heads as they both look up. He coughs awkwardly, before plastering a smirk on his face.

“Yes well I’m not one to follow the ru-“He is stopped short when Chloe stands up on her tiptoes and places a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, lingering for a second before stepping back.  He feels his mouth hanging open slightly in shock, making her huff amusedly.

“It is a tradition.” She says with a shrug, but with a hint of pink in her cheeks, before heading back towards the kitchen, leaving him staring after her in disbelief, while Trixie and Maze bump fists behind him.

 

He stays in the bathroom for a few minutes trying to remove the stain on his jacket and not think about the ghost feeling of her lips on the very edge of his mouth. He sighs heavily and admits defeat, taking the jacket off and leaving him in his silver vest and white shirt. He exits the bathroom and sits back in the seat he was occupying before. She had kissed him, kissed him so easily without hesitating and it had set his blood on fire. He wanted her so badly but what if-? He pinches the bridge of his nose, inhaling through it to try and compose himself. A throat clears next to him and he looks up to find Linda staring at him with compassion.

He’s about to refute her concerned gaze with a sexual innuendo or something but being his therapist she is probably expecting it so jumps in before he can speak.

“Just answer me one question okay? Just one.” She pleads with him and he nods reluctantly.

“Do you trust her?” She enquires and they both know who she’s talking about. He answers without hesitation.

“More than anyone.”

Linda smiles at this and places her hand over his knee. “Then trust her in what she feels.” She says with conviction. She gets up and walks over to start a conversation with Daniel, leaving Lucifer sitting there contemplating everything.  The Doctor was right, if he does trust her he should trust how she feels over his own fears of his Dad. He has yearned for her for too long, he can’t go on like this. He knows he has to tell her how he feels and that he was ready to try, if she was of course. He hoped she still felt for him, because if she didn’t and he had truly missed his chance well… it would be the single greatest regret of his entire existence.

 

He moved with purpose towards the kitchen, everyone else too engaged in conversation or games to notice his movement. He stops a few feet away from her. She was concentrating on cutting some sort of food but all he could look at was her face. The candles around the kitchen caused both light and shadow to play on her features and he was mesmerised by each angle made of her beauty.

She catches him looking and gives a small questioning smile, probably wondering what he wanted since he was stood staring like an idiot. He couldn’t find the right words to even begin to admit how he felt. Suddenly the look he has seen on her face so many times these last few months appears. It was that searching gaze that always ends in disappointment. Except this time is different for instead her eyes shine with happiness and relief and her smile grows larger and brighter and it makes his breathe catch at its utter radiance.  

He had placed every infinite blazing star into the dark expanse of the night sky and all of them paled in comparison to her.

“It’s about time.” She says, eyes glistening as she moves closer, closing the distance between them that has been there for much too long.  

“What?” He asks confusedly, completely losing what he had built himself up to say to her, it was like she already knew. She smiles softly and slowly reaches her hand out to his and holds it so gently as if he might break. Who knows, perhaps he would.

“That you’re finally ready.” She almost whispers, gaze still on their hands as she rubs her thumb over his skin in a soothing manner, but not doing anything to slow the erratic beating of his heart. He swallows hard before finding his voice.

“Ready for what exactly?” He asks, voice wavering from the emotions that only she is able to summon in him. She huffs amusedly, before moving their conjoined hands, hers over his as it falls to rest on the left side of her chest, her heartbeat strong and steady underneath his palm.

“Ready to admit that this…” she squeezes his hand and meets his gaze with fierce determination burning in them “is real.”

He finds himself smiling without thought and that feeling of invincibility comes rushing back to him from so long ago. He brings his other hand up to caress the shape of her face and leans in slowly but stops, giving her the choice, always wanting it to be her choice, to close the gap.

She does without indecision, her lips once again on his and it feels like coming home. They move together in perfect sync, desperate but gentle in the same instance. She brings both arms around his neck and he grabs her waist, bringing her even closer to him. He slips his tongue into her mouth and she moans, causing a shiver of pleasure to run through his body.   

“OH MY GOD!”

He groans in frustration at the improper timing of the mention of dear old Dad, causing Chloe to chuckle softly. He turns to see Miss Lopez looking all too joyous and not like someone should who had just walked in on an intimate moment.

“Are you guys finally together?” She asks with barely contained glee. He didn’t really know the answer to that, where they? He thinks they were. They both look at each other and she smiles at him in a way that makes him know he thought right.

“AW YESSSSSS! Best Christmas ever!” Ella beams, fist pumping the air before turning her head in the direction of everyone else. “Hey Dan! You owe me 10 dollars buddy!” She walks off to the rest and Lucifer just stares after her.

He looks at everyone gathered in the living room and a warm feeling spreads through him. He is drawn back to look at Chloe who is snuggled up to his side with a content smile and he realizes what that warm feeling was. That warm feeling from being with her and the others, it was a feeling he had never had, not in heaven and not in hell. It was something he had not felt in his eons of existence. It was the sense of finally belonging.


End file.
